The Two Words You Should Always Remember To Never Say Are "Always" and "Never"

I am so tired of self contradictory double talk jargon thrown at me from all these "experts" that tell me that I fear success, I fear failure, anyone can succeed, not everyone is made for success.

Why can't someone just read a chart and tell me if it's in me or not. Let me go about my business with the knowledge that I should shoot for it or not. Do I have to be destined for greatness if I just try hard enough and never give up? Why? If everyone was, who would pump the gas and take my money at the fast food drive in window?

I don't necessarily mean that I want anyone to beat me down and call me the failure that I am, I just want people to tell me that it's ok to not be making a million dollar income.

Here's the problem: for some people, money comes easily. Not that it just comes to them, but making and managing it is something that they just know and do well. And those people will never ever understand what it means to just be an average person working pay check to pay check.

Oh sure some of the wealthy people have had hard times in their life, I'm not denying that. What I said was that making and managing money comes naturaly to them. That's why they're capable of bouncing back from those hard times.

Not everyone can play music, they may be tone deaf or just not have the rhythm in them. Not everyone can be an artist... the ability to see the picture on the paper just isn't there, and no amount of practice will change that.

Well, the same can be said for money and success. It's not in everyone.

Why am I ranting about this? Well, I go about the internet reading about how to be successful, how to motivate myself... and all these people tell me that I can be great if I just try hard enough and don't give up. And I do, for a long time. And when all it does is exhaust me, stress me and get me no where... I feel worse than before I had found their "advice".

I would have been better off if those people had just told me that I'm doing fine, I can do better, but I'm doing fine and not making a million dollars next year is ok too.

Don't let the snobby "It's easy!" well to do people try to convince you that you should be something you're not. Don't just give up on life and stop trying to be successful either.

Just accept that you can do better than you are but that you don't have to be successful to be someone. Don't beat yourself up when they tell you it's easy and you find out it's not. Because it really isn't. Nothing in life is. And yet, you're doing just fine.

Do you Believe in Karma? Fate? Destiny? Santa?

I don't have any historical proof or first hand knowledge but I like to believe that once upon a time, someone made up these concepts to help themselves and others feel good about themselves. Not that it was just someone with a pen and paper and it happened over night or anything, but that these concepts are man made fairy tales devised to put blame on some mysterious superior power and dismiss all the bad stuff as not our own fault.

Now, not many people would include Santa in with that list but I do because I have children and I find that Santa has very much the same effect that the others do. For example, come October or November, my children's attitudes and behavior change quite drastically when they begin to realize that good things will come to them if only they behave properly.

Doesn't that sound like Karma to you? Isn't it Fate that decides that good things are in store for good people? I know what you're thinking, those things are unavoidable where as you can change how you act in anticipation for Santa and thus fool him into being good to you Christmas morning.

Well I'm sorry but all the arguments in the world won't change the fact that all those arguments can be used both ways. You can fool karma, you can convince fate, you can't avoid Santa's naughty list. And in my mind, they're all just as real as each other.

It's so easy to accept failure because it's simply your destiny, it's easy to motivate yourself into trying harder because you believe you're destined for greatness. Why is one more true than the other? Because you believe one more than the other?  They're both true, they're both false... just like being on Santa's naughty or nice list. Try harder because you're destined to get good presents, and you will. Accept that you're no good and you'll get coal for Christmas.

The only thing that separates Karma, Fate and Destiny from Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy is that adults believe some while children believe the others.

Think about it. What child believes in Karma? Fate?? My children believe that when they're bad, they get no presents and get disciplined. They believe that when they're good they get good stuff. Simple as that. They know that good behavior rewards them. No destiny about it. Do good, get good. Try hard, get rewards. Now ask them about Santa and that's a whole other matter.

Adults are the exact same except the other way around. Adults believe that no matter how hard they try, they're destined to get disciplined or rewarded the same. Adults believe that if you're good you get the same stuff as if you're not, because that's Fate. Adults believe that other bad people will have bad things come to them because that's Karma... somehow that makes them feel better about those bad people.

There's only one thing that separates them, adults believe in some, children in the others. I think the children are far better off, don't you?

Just a Matter of Finding the Proper Motivation!

You see it in action movies all the time, but you never really think of it as a real life sort of thing... but what would you do if the one(s) you loved most were taken from you? Would you take on the world to get them back?

It's hard to image because it's so far fetched but I think most of us have seen enough movies to be able to at least come up with some sort of scenario in our heads and answer the question... what would I do?

Recently I wasn't put into as drastic a situation as all of that but I was forced to make a pretty big decision based on what was best for my son. He is Autistic and the best school we could find for him was pretty far and we quickly discovered that everything was out of our price range to accomplish.

I won't say I gained super powers and materialized money where there wasn't any but I did find the desire, the need to do what ever it took to make that money come to me.

We are now doing alright, quite the opposite of living like kings, but we're doing rather well considering we were quite incapable of any of this a year ago. The reason for it is that it had to be done. There was no question of if... because it was no longer about me. It was about someone so close to me that I had to do what ever I could and more.

Sometimes it's a kick in the pants like that which finally helps us to realize our true potential, to make us open our eyes to what we're truly capable of if we have reason enough. The tricky part is holding on to that... to carry it with you after you've accomplished what you had to and feel good about what you've done.

If you don't carry on with that you can lose it very quickly and very easily. And I think we'd all agree, we'd rather not be in the position to need to take on the world for the sake of a loved one all the time.

So do it for yourself first and there's a good chance you won't be put in that position in the first place.

One Man's World is Another Man's Illusion

It's no secret that our goverments keep things from us and that advertising is meant to mislead us. This is just what we've come to expect and yet we continually fall for it all like sheep in a field.

This past Olympics (Vancouver 2010), I saw commercials from all the big name companies that sponsored the games couldn't help but wonder... what were they telling other people?

I am Canadian, so I watched the Canadian broadcast. In it, I saw commercials from Coke-A-Cola and McDonalds waving their Canadian flags and boasting "Let's show them who's game it is" (in reference to the hockey) and "they're in our house now"....  uhmm... neither of them are Canadian companies.

The very first commercial that aired immediately following Canada's gold medal hockey game was "now they know who's game it is" from Coke-A-Cola which made me wonder, what commercial did the US see?? Conversely, what would have aired if the US had won it? We'd probably see some "congrats on the silver" commercial while in the US, they'd see "It's our game now!" commercial or something like that.

We eat it up!! It's patriotism and pride and celebration and we love it! But, isn't it also treachery and treason that they go spouting the same pride and patriotism to the other guys at the same time??

The thing is, most of us aren't watching two different telecasts of the same thing from two different countries and so we'd never know. A part of us does, because as you read this you're thinking it makes perfect sense and even occurred to you. But an even bigger part pushes that aside and says "someone get me a Coke!"

It's because we're hearing what we want to hear. We're getting an emotional response from what they're feeding us and we take it because we want to take it. We're sheep. The advertisers are the shephards and they've just pulled the wool over our eyes and told us where to run.

Don't become a conspiracy theorist, but open your eyes. Question everything. See the world as it is and you'll be that much closer to taking charge rather than being a mindless follower.

Do You Know What "Motivation" Really Means?

The first thing we have to do is break it down to it's core word which is motive. If you're like me, the first thing you think of when you hear 'motive' is a crime. Perhaps it's too much police drama television these days but when I hear the word, I'm thinking that it means 'the reason a person committed a crime.'

Likewise, when we hear the word motivation, we definitely don't associate that with crimes but rather as a 'reward' or a 'reason' to do something that we generally don't want to do. We often think of it in terms of "having to find the motivation" to do something. It's basically become a bit of a negative thing... something we think of only when we are feeling down or unwilling.

What we need to do is change that, because that is wrong. Here is what the dictionary has for 'motive':

1. something that causes a person to act in a certain way, do a certain thing, etc.; incentive.

2. the goal or object of a person's actions: Her motive was revenge. 

 

See, even the dictionary gives it a 'crime' feel with the revenge bit but you can see how it doesn't have to be a negative thing. It's quite simply the 'thing' that makes you do what you do. It can be anything from eating breakfast because you're hungry (hunger is your motivation) to going to work to earn your pay (money is your motivation).

Did you ever think of hunger as a motivation? Probably not. Perhaps you were hungry but your laziness was trumping it and as you sat there, you tried to find the motivation to get up and get yourself something to eat. You weren't looking for motivation, you were looking for more motivation. An added reason, an extra excuse.

What does this all mean? Well, motivation comes in a lot more shapes and forms than you think and it's a part of your life every single day. You may have just clouded it with what we've come to perceive it as. You don't need to promise yourself rewards or incentives to get something accomplished... the motivation is already there. You just have to stop ignoring it or dismissing it and embrace it for what it is.

Perhaps that laziness wouldn't keep you in your seat if you just simply accepted the hunger for the motivation that it is. You don't have to commit a crime to have a motive and you don't need someone else to 'give you motivation'. You already have it. Use it.

Why Many Motivational Articles and Speakers May Have the Opposite Effect On You

The problem with a lot of motivational quotes, articles and speakers is that they make it sound like you could be immortal, all powerful and rule the world. In their quest to be a great motivator, they try to empower you to "be anything you want to be" and will quote you anything and everything they need to tell you to make you feel like you could take on the world.

If you're feeling even the slightest bit of self doubt, that's probably not what you need. Your sarcasm mode kicks in and starts translating all of those grandios promises into a "that's fine for everyone else but not for me" lashing that you give to yourself long after you're done reading/listening.

You know what? Most people can't be anything they want to be, most people can't take over the world and when it comes to being immortal or all powerful, let's be thankful that most people won't ever get that.

Let's be realistic. Even if all the cards fell perfectly into place and you had nothing but driver, determination and motivation... you still likely wouldn't be hitting the top 10 list in Forbes magazine any time soon.

The thing to remember is that no one goes from 0 to 10 without taking a lot of steps in between. For you to feel self doubt and be promised the world is skipping a lot of steps.

You have to push those aside and come back to them when you're a 9.5 and not sure how to be a 10. Learn to recognize when that sarcasm mode kicks in and either take it for what it is, humour, or shut it up.

The more you keep telling yourself that you don't fit into what they're telling you, the more you start to believe yourself and then it becomes true. Maybe it was true before, maybe it wasn't... you'll never know because you make it true.

So stop it, skip it, find something else that is more on your level and read that. Maybe an article on beginner goal setting is better suited to you if you feel like you're never achieving anything. Once you get that out of the way, improve some more areas and continue upwards on that ladder. Maybe the articles promising world domination will be better suited to you after that.

But until then, don't beat yourself up because of what someone you don't know thinks you might be capable of.

Some People Think I'm a Genius, I Think They're an Idiot

The title sounds rather generalized so let me be more specific. People discover that I am a web programmer, very good with computers and I can retain a lot of useless information which tends to prove handy when playing Trivial Pursuit and they start describing me as brilliant, a genius or just really really smart.

Those people, they're idiots.

I am no more a genius than your mechanic that fixes your alternator. That person can take apart an engine and put it back together without any of those random 'spare parts' that don't seem to fit back in somehow... plus as an added bonus, your car will start when you turn the key. I can't do that.

So if a mechanic can do all that and I can't, why do these people think I must be a genius but not the mechanic?

It's all a matter of perception. The world has set several courses (career paths) in motion that have become so ingrained in our every day life that we automatically make assumptions of the people in those paths. Garbage man? Gas station attendant? Burger flipper? Mechanic?

The funny thing is that these are considered "dirty jobs" because, well, you get dirty. And therefore, only an idiot would do a dirty job because no normal person likes to get dirty.

If you can work a computer without wanting to throw your keyboard through the window however, you must be brilliant.

I have news for you. The burger flipper isn't an idiot. If you think they're an idiot, sorry, you are. You've played into the hypnotic stereotypical trendy way of thinking that makes you the sheep that you are.


By labeling a computer person as brilliant, you are inadvertantly labeling those 'dirty job' people as idiots. It's just more politically correct.

Yes I can do things with a computer that most people can't, I've also been sitting at my computer for 10 plus hours a day for about 14 years. If I wasn't any good with it by now, I'd be in serious denial.

Don't judge someone's intelligence by how well they do the one job that is their job, unless you intend to do it with everyone who does their job well, mechanics, burger flippers and everyone else.

Instead of envying what I can do in my job, take pride in what you can do in your job. If you're a burger flipper and wishing you were 'smart like me' to work with computers, stop it. Many burger flippers have gone on to have a lot more money than me, been far more successful and retired young. Was it because they were idiots for being burger flippers or brilliant for being burger flippers?

I'm not a genius. You're not an idiot. It's not about what I know or what I do, it's about what you know and what you do... no matter what anyone else thinks about you. Do your best at what you do and some people will think you're a genius too. Those people, they're idiots.