Wednesday, April 28, 2010

The Two Words You Should Always Remember To Never Say Are "Always" and "Never"


I am so tired of self contradictory double talk jargon thrown at me from all these "experts" that tell me that I fear success, I fear failure, anyone can succeed, not everyone is made for success.

Why can't someone just read a chart and tell me if it's in me or not. Let me go about my business with the knowledge that I should shoot for it or not. Do I have to be destined for greatness if I just try hard enough and never give up? Why? If everyone was, who would pump the gas and take my money at the fast food drive in window?

I don't necessarily mean that I want anyone to beat me down and call me the failure that I am, I just want people to tell me that it's ok to not be making a million dollar income.

Here's the problem: for some people, money comes easily. Not that it just comes to them, but making and managing it is something that they just know and do well. And those people will never ever understand what it means to just be an average person working pay check to pay check.

Oh sure some of the wealthy people have had hard times in their life, I'm not denying that. What I said was that making and managing money comes naturaly to them. That's why they're capable of bouncing back from those hard times.

Not everyone can play music, they may be tone deaf or just not have the rhythm in them. Not everyone can be an artist... the ability to see the picture on the paper just isn't there, and no amount of practice will change that.

Well, the same can be said for money and success. It's not in everyone.

Why am I ranting about this? Well, I go about the internet reading about how to be successful, how to motivate myself... and all these people tell me that I can be great if I just try hard enough and don't give up. And I do, for a long time. And when all it does is exhaust me, stress me and get me no where... I feel worse than before I had found their "advice".

I would have been better off if those people had just told me that I'm doing fine, I can do better, but I'm doing fine and not making a million dollars next year is ok too.

Don't let the snobby "It's easy!" well to do people try to convince you that you should be something you're not. Don't just give up on life and stop trying to be successful either.

Just accept that you can do better than you are but that you don't have to be successful to be someone. Don't beat yourself up when they tell you it's easy and you find out it's not. Because it really isn't. Nothing in life is. And yet, you're doing just fine.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Do you Believe in Karma? Fate? Destiny? Santa?


I don't have any historical proof or first hand knowledge but I like to believe that once upon a time, someone made up these concepts to help themselves and others feel good about themselves. Not that it was just someone with a pen and paper and it happened over night or anything, but that these concepts are man made fairy tales devised to put blame on some mysterious superior power and dismiss all the bad stuff as not our own fault.

Now, not many people would include Santa in with that list but I do because I have children and I find that Santa has very much the same effect that the others do. For example, come October or November, my children's attitudes and behavior change quite drastically when they begin to realize that good things will come to them if only they behave properly.

Doesn't that sound like Karma to you? Isn't it Fate that decides that good things are in store for good people? I know what you're thinking, those things are unavoidable where as you can change how you act in anticipation for Santa and thus fool him into being good to you Christmas morning.

Well I'm sorry but all the arguments in the world won't change the fact that all those arguments can be used both ways. You can fool karma, you can convince fate, you can't avoid Santa's naughty list. And in my mind, they're all just as real as each other.

It's so easy to accept failure because it's simply your destiny, it's easy to motivate yourself into trying harder because you believe you're destined for greatness. Why is one more true than the other? Because you believe one more than the other?  They're both true, they're both false... just like being on Santa's naughty or nice list. Try harder because you're destined to get good presents, and you will. Accept that you're no good and you'll get coal for Christmas.

The only thing that separates Karma, Fate and Destiny from Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy is that adults believe some while children believe the others.

Think about it. What child believes in Karma? Fate?? My children believe that when they're bad, they get no presents and get disciplined. They believe that when they're good they get good stuff. Simple as that. They know that good behavior rewards them. No destiny about it. Do good, get good. Try hard, get rewards. Now ask them about Santa and that's a whole other matter.

Adults are the exact same except the other way around. Adults believe that no matter how hard they try, they're destined to get disciplined or rewarded the same. Adults believe that if you're good you get the same stuff as if you're not, because that's Fate. Adults believe that other bad people will have bad things come to them because that's Karma... somehow that makes them feel better about those bad people.

There's only one thing that separates them, adults believe in some, children in the others. I think the children are far better off, don't you?

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Just a Matter of Finding the Proper Motivation!


You see it in action movies all the time, but you never really think of it as a real life sort of thing... but what would you do if the one(s) you loved most were taken from you? Would you take on the world to get them back?

It's hard to image because it's so far fetched but I think most of us have seen enough movies to be able to at least come up with some sort of scenario in our heads and answer the question... what would I do?

Recently I wasn't put into as drastic a situation as all of that but I was forced to make a pretty big decision based on what was best for my son. He is Autistic and the best school we could find for him was pretty far and we quickly discovered that everything was out of our price range to accomplish.

I won't say I gained super powers and materialized money where there wasn't any but I did find the desire, the need to do what ever it took to make that money come to me.

We are now doing alright, quite the opposite of living like kings, but we're doing rather well considering we were quite incapable of any of this a year ago. The reason for it is that it had to be done. There was no question of if... because it was no longer about me. It was about someone so close to me that I had to do what ever I could and more.

Sometimes it's a kick in the pants like that which finally helps us to realize our true potential, to make us open our eyes to what we're truly capable of if we have reason enough. The tricky part is holding on to that... to carry it with you after you've accomplished what you had to and feel good about what you've done.

If you don't carry on with that you can lose it very quickly and very easily. And I think we'd all agree, we'd rather not be in the position to need to take on the world for the sake of a loved one all the time.

So do it for yourself first and there's a good chance you won't be put in that position in the first place.